The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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