I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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