sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
