On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
