My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
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i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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