Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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