Only a mothe r could love this liver
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize