Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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