Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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