"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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