Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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