How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
