We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
