why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
