I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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