The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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