i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
