took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
