ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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