I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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