I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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