they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
