I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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