I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
