So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
