i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
