I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
