You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
