there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
