I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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