You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
