Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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