508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
