I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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