y did u give ur computer a hand job?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
