Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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