I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
