So drunk its hurt
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize