Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
