just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Blood and glitter go together right?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
