wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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