My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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