any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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