dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
