You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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