I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
