ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
