i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize