Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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