i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
