This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize