dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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