dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
