Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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