If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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