I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
