I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Randomize