In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
