i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
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We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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