addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize