Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
