My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
why is half of my head shaved?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
